Monday, September 8, 2014

Men: Are You a Sounding Board or Are You Sounding Bored

Men are conditioned from birth to fix damsels in distress—to be knights in shining armor and to ride off into the sunset with their fair maidens. The problem is that when women complain to their men they are only looking for a sounding board to vent—not to be rescued from peril. Women are encouraged to process their feelings outwardly to the masses and look for solace, empathy and a shoulder to cry on. Because men are trained to find answers they are often perplexed by their partners’ elevated emotions when they give them the let's fix-it-and-forget-it spiel. Most women aren’t looking for solutions…they’re looking for hugs. If men want to cure what ails their mates most often they just have to envelop them and let their ladies melt into their arms for warmth and comfort. Women often carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and sometimes, just sometimes they need someone to take control and let them know that it’s okay to be taken care of so they can feel safe and secure.

So men…the next time your ladies need to cry or vent be a sounding board for them. Stop getting frustrated or sounding bored because they won’t take your advice. Now if you've realized your ladies are drama queens in your castle you may have to accept that when you rescued these damsels in distress you’ve purposely sought out distressed damsels and you may need to admit that you made a mistake.  These types of women thrive o chaos and catastrophe but that’s on you because that’s what you signed up for.  Men and women are fundamentally different that’s why they are called the opposite sex but find the balance. There are actually women out there who don’t suffer from mental anguish. Just be forewarned that even they may just need some XOXO from time-to-time because that’s they way they roll. In conclusion if you want to fix a woman be her sounding board. It’s often that easy.

To learn more on how to find better relationships read Gents Getting Jerked at the end of each chapter of my new book How to Depolarize Your Jerk Magnet. 


  1. I enjoyed this article! Great job...I can definitely relate. There's nothing like a man "fixing the issue" with simple encouragement, a loving ear, and a heart that says, "Come here, everything is going to be alright. I believe in you and I love you." Hugs go a long way, but a man with a heart to listen is eons ahead when a woman is processing! (Keep writing from the heart Christina)

    1. Kimberly, I appreciate your response. I tell men all the time to stop trying to fix it and envelop it with a hug. You're right on the money. Getting ready to post a discussion on emotional attraction. Stay tune and thanks again.