Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Raise with Praise

Praise cost nothing yet its value is priceless. Everyone feels good when they can embrace their potential. Criticism doesn't always feel great. I say take the problem out of problem/solving. Essentially we have about 2 minutes of attention span with our kids and spending 1.5 minutes telling them what they've done wrong only gives us a half a minute to legitimately solve the issues at hand. What I've learned over the years is that people in general strive harder with positives and every negative can be turned around. Our brains pick up language that compels us to act on the words. For example if I told you right now to not think about how much money you paid to the IRS, what would you be thinking?  Therefore, when you tell someone, "Don't run!" the brain hears "Run!!!!" That's why kids do exactly what we tell them not to do. Start telling them what we want. Shift some of the following:

Don't throw the with the sand (that's what we want, right?)
Don't hurt the gentle with the cat (that's what we desire)
Stop yelling...use a quiet voice (that's what we need)

Every don't can be turned into a do. It just takes some reframing with time and attention. This works with your partner and friends as well. Tell them what they are doing right and they'll strive for better.

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